effigy

effigy

here, and all this time

i’ve placed you high on a pole

or ridge, maybe

gazing a version

as I saw it

as I heeded to see

to hold me

together

i pretend and pretend

i can’t let our ocean

of grief

tear open—

clinching only a cupped matchbox to

pool vast

unspoken waters

hope has not been a friend

hope has been a convincing

stray lover

shards of deliverance take liberty

to prance

our grave

the heart, too tattered to cradle

alone,

i wish I had a receiving blanket

for sorrow I can not name

perhaps if sorrow smelled

like a baby

i’d learn to love it anyway

maternal instinct might kick in

to forge love, in spite of

damage

but we are not a baby

we are complication

a sacrifice

we pretend because

neither has the will

to make us an

effigy